If there is ONE THING I hate...
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On a night not too long ago, I was on a phone call with my good friend. After she had told me a story, she rhetorically asked with a bit of sarcasm, "You know how well I respond to people telling me what to do?!" We both chuckled because in this way her and I are alike.
The next morning as I was washing dishes my mind wandered back to the conversation from the night before. Chuckling silently to myself remembering the details of the call, I then recalled a time when I and some of my siblings were at home in Idaho visiting my parents. I don't remember who was doing the bossing, but I remember someone was relentlessly putting in their two cents on every detail of how I should complete a certain task that I had been assigned to do. I was annoyed at all the extra coaching and quickly became irritated. (In defense of whoever was doing the bossing - as a Hawkes being bossy and telling other people what to do is part of who we are, it is engrained in our DNA. We really can't help ourselves. Our family reunions are quite the spectacle - just ask the in-laws).
Responding loudly to whoever was bossing me, I shouted with emphasis and with a heavy dose of attitude, "Now if there is ONE THING I HATE, its being told what to do!"
Immediately I started laughing and my siblings started to make fun of my outburst both for its irony and its childishness. Here I was probably twenty-five or so invisibly stomping my foot, declaring my independence, and asserting myself as a free agent.
The memory made me smile at my own silliness and my ever present dramatics. I haven't changed too much over the years. I've actually reminisced this memory a time or two but this particular morning my thoughts continued to meander through old experiences.
The knowledge of the event my thoughts then fell upon is only available to me through scripture, so I can only speculate how I must have acted during that time - the pre-existence - life before we came to Earth when we lived with Heavenly Father as His spirit children.
I started to think about the War in Heaven. When Heavenly Father's plan - the Plan of Salvation was presented and Lucifer's plan was presented.
I've often wondered what I was like when I lived with Heavenly Father before this life. What did I do? What role did I play in the events we know relatively so little about? Maintaining the notion that I haven't changed too much over the years, I superimposed what I know of myself onto my pre-mortal self.
Quickly, I envisioned myself acting as an advocate for Heavenly Father's plan. Trying to rally and lead others to follow Him. Asserting that His plan was the best plan. Vocally and passionately opposing Lucifer's plan - one in which our ability to choose for ourselves would be taken away.
It is not a far stretch to envision the same girl who retorted, "If there is ONE THING I HATE, its being told what to do!" as the same girl crusading to help others choose the plan designed by Heavenly Father that would allow us to act and to choose for ourselves, even if it meant making mistakes and sinning.
In this life I am not afraid to stand and be vocal for what I believe is right and neither would I be in the world before. In this life I do not hesitate to make known where my loyalties are. I am grateful for the attributes that contribute to the vibrant, gregarious, feisty, and unabashed girl that I am. They offer me insight into how I must have behaved before and I feel encouraged to continue to stay true to my nature and the unique qualities that I exhibit. After all, I would have been pretty proud to see myself standing up for the greatest cause that ever was.
The next morning as I was washing dishes my mind wandered back to the conversation from the night before. Chuckling silently to myself remembering the details of the call, I then recalled a time when I and some of my siblings were at home in Idaho visiting my parents. I don't remember who was doing the bossing, but I remember someone was relentlessly putting in their two cents on every detail of how I should complete a certain task that I had been assigned to do. I was annoyed at all the extra coaching and quickly became irritated. (In defense of whoever was doing the bossing - as a Hawkes being bossy and telling other people what to do is part of who we are, it is engrained in our DNA. We really can't help ourselves. Our family reunions are quite the spectacle - just ask the in-laws).
Responding loudly to whoever was bossing me, I shouted with emphasis and with a heavy dose of attitude, "Now if there is ONE THING I HATE, its being told what to do!"
Immediately I started laughing and my siblings started to make fun of my outburst both for its irony and its childishness. Here I was probably twenty-five or so invisibly stomping my foot, declaring my independence, and asserting myself as a free agent.
The memory made me smile at my own silliness and my ever present dramatics. I haven't changed too much over the years. I've actually reminisced this memory a time or two but this particular morning my thoughts continued to meander through old experiences.
The knowledge of the event my thoughts then fell upon is only available to me through scripture, so I can only speculate how I must have acted during that time - the pre-existence - life before we came to Earth when we lived with Heavenly Father as His spirit children.
I started to think about the War in Heaven. When Heavenly Father's plan - the Plan of Salvation was presented and Lucifer's plan was presented.
I've often wondered what I was like when I lived with Heavenly Father before this life. What did I do? What role did I play in the events we know relatively so little about? Maintaining the notion that I haven't changed too much over the years, I superimposed what I know of myself onto my pre-mortal self.
Quickly, I envisioned myself acting as an advocate for Heavenly Father's plan. Trying to rally and lead others to follow Him. Asserting that His plan was the best plan. Vocally and passionately opposing Lucifer's plan - one in which our ability to choose for ourselves would be taken away.
It is not a far stretch to envision the same girl who retorted, "If there is ONE THING I HATE, its being told what to do!" as the same girl crusading to help others choose the plan designed by Heavenly Father that would allow us to act and to choose for ourselves, even if it meant making mistakes and sinning.
In this life I am not afraid to stand and be vocal for what I believe is right and neither would I be in the world before. In this life I do not hesitate to make known where my loyalties are. I am grateful for the attributes that contribute to the vibrant, gregarious, feisty, and unabashed girl that I am. They offer me insight into how I must have behaved before and I feel encouraged to continue to stay true to my nature and the unique qualities that I exhibit. After all, I would have been pretty proud to see myself standing up for the greatest cause that ever was.
