Panning for Gold
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New associations revive me. I am grateful for each one of them. For every new person I meet, the capacity of my mind to comprehend a brighter future increases. Presently, I think it also has to do with breaking free from an outdated image of what I thought my future might be like. Every new person I meet in this phase of life, defies the previous phase. I feel liberated breaking free from the old chains.
Meeting new people with similar outlooks and appreciations for life increases my ability to feel comfortable in my own skin and be reassured that there are some that will accept me for whatever I am and not try to push me into being something I am not. And maybe there is only one trait that if they possess it, qualifies them in my eyes to being deemed as similar or the same as me. The trait of accepting individuals with an open mind and not with hasty judgment (p.s. I do not make a claim to be perfect at this, but a genuine effort to live this principle is striven for).
I don't know how you, the reader, sees me as an individual. I'm aware of a wide variety of opinions that people have of me. Some I am flattered by, others not so much, and others, well, I just think those people are ignorant. hah I go so far to call myself eccentric sometimes, but instead of it being a defining characteristic, I think it is a small detail of who I am. The kaleidoscope of who I am is colored and made beautiful by and for a plethora of reasons. Those who judge me on one or a few small pieces of information, judge unwisely.
But it is a trend, tendency, habit (whatever you want to call it) that I know exists among people. There will be a great number of people I meet that I wish would take into consideration a more complete perspective of who I am before they make their final critical judgment. Hell, there are even a number of people who will know me intimately well, and yet still walk away with a judgment far contrary to the image that I would hope they would have gained of me. And I seek forgiveness for those shortcomings that truly keep me from the more beautiful potential that I seek.
I accept and take ownership of my follies and weaknesses and how they affect people's perceptions of me. I realize that those play a big role in how I am perceived. However, it breaks my heart that the list of weaknesses (however long or short you may think that list may be and whether those weaknesses be real or purely relative) they cast a heavier shadow over some people's perspective of me than I think is just. I think for both them and I it is a loss. More for them though. They place limits upon people prematurely which prevent them from developing potentially very fulfilling friendships and relationships. As for the personal loss, it takes a greater amount of time to find those who accept and welcome with open arms, and so they are unfortunately fewer and farther between which therefore limits the number of potential friendships/relationships.
When those friendships are found, I cherish them deeply and my soul soars with happiness in the company of a "similar" individual and so continues my excitement to meet new people and make new associations. And so it is like a prospector panning for gold in the river, he must sift through a high volume of material of varying densities before he can discover the shiny stuff.
